best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Do vagina's smell?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
