And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I am naked and annoyed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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