Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
