i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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