I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize