? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
