I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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