If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
