found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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