.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is it because I queefed?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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