They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
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Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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