but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
MIDGETS
????
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
