There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
