I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
