If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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