I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize