so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
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I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
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How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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