Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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