You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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