Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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