I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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