Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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