my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
