I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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