You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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