im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
