Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
