i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How did I end up in the pool?!
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When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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