And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!