that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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