Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
