found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
