I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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