My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
