I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
