I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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