yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
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I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
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I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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