Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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