we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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