Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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