And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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