Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
