Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  just do it

  (1-469): View more from Texas

  fine only cuz shes asian

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  (469): just do it (1-469): fine only cuz shes asian http://tfl.nu/6iw9
  Replies (5) Good night (1413) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

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  (405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything. http://tfl.nu/pmpx
  Replies (76) Good night (28248) Bad night (2010)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.

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  (612): I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out. http://tfl.nu/dz9m
  Replies (16) Good night (4730) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class

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  (865): Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class http://tfl.nu/k0s2
  Replies (23) Good night (4597) Bad night (1546)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.

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  (760): She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/eh4f
  Replies (30) Good night (7781) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  i flashed his best friends last night

  (1-416): View more from Toronto

  you always were good at making good first impressions

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  (416): i flashed his best friends last night (1-416): you always were good at making good first impressions http://tfl.nu/b564
  Replies (10) Good night (3936) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom

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  (913): I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom http://tfl.nu/jxft
  Replies (9) Good night (4463) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am

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  (785): The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am http://tfl.nu/qtcn
  Replies (11) Good night (2705) Bad night (1665)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  She has a lazy eye!

  (317): View more from Indiana

  My other option is a hardwood floor

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  (765): She has a lazy eye! (317): My other option is a hardwood floor http://tfl.nu/pxwj
  Replies (8) Good night (662) Bad night (1888)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"

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  (909): Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead" http://tfl.nu/uxql
  Replies (4) Good night (1040) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.

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  (914): So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun. http://tfl.nu/n89x
  Replies (12) Good night (788) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We won Spring Training 2013.

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  (609): We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them. (609): We won Spring Training 2013. http://tfl.nu/awkc
  Replies (3) Good night (806) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed

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  (613): So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed http://tfl.nu/pqem
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.

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  (727): Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself. http://tfl.nu/eket
  Replies (4) Good night (559) Bad night (1478)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?

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  (919): Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off? http://tfl.nu/ksmb
  Replies (1) Good night (876) Bad night (336)

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