Texts From Last Night

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  (971): View more from Oregon

  you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?

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  (971): you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything? http://tfl.nu/ldjb
  Replies (25) Good night (5342) Bad night (817)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.

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  (214): i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends. http://tfl.nu/1l9v
  Replies (4) Good night (581) Bad night (4068)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b

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  (314): The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b http://tfl.nu/enbb
  Replies (9) Good night (850) Bad night (4507)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.

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  (309): I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season. http://tfl.nu/pxkc
  Replies (14) Good night (3535) Bad night (1180)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust

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  (413): she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust http://tfl.nu/ucdh
  Replies (6) Good night (1879) Bad night (796)
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  (914): View more from New York

  The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.

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  (914): The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients. http://tfl.nu/y7zq
  Replies (5) Good night (1928) Bad night (565)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.

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  (724): I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way. http://tfl.nu/vhtx
  Replies (12) Good night (2123) Bad night (1289)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.

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  (443): His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number. http://tfl.nu/j9e9
  Replies (21) Good night (3687) Bad night (663)
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  (323): View more from California

  It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent

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  (323): It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent http://tfl.nu/xdm3
  Replies (12) Good night (2810) Bad night (711)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers

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  (919): The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers http://tfl.nu/9d3q
  Replies (3) Good night (1041) Bad night (573)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"

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  (616): But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!" http://tfl.nu/95zk
  Replies (10) Good night (2786) Bad night (541)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.

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  (515): I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes. http://tfl.nu/92xn
  Replies (14) Good night (1763) Bad night (625)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song

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  (417): For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song http://tfl.nu/a91l
  Replies (4) Good night (1389) Bad night (374)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap

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  (336): That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap http://tfl.nu/hjra
  Replies (3) Good night (240) Bad night (792)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.

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  (580): She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand. (580): I'm worried because he hasn't removed it. http://tfl.nu/hp4o
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (255)

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