she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
