You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
