If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
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Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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