The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
kristin has been a bad kristin
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
