I cockslap morals
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
