i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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