What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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