who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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