ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
