Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
