I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I am one with the molecules
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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