I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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