Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
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Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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