I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
