My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You don't make any sense
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