i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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