You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
