Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize